Look, we need to talk about your white tee. You know, that “basic” piece you throw on without thinking? Plot twist: it’s actually doing ALL the talking.
Your White Tee Is Doing More Talking Than You Think
Last weekend I’m at this loud bar in the East Village, and somehow my friend and I end up having this entire conversation about our go-to blank white tees. Shouting over the music, comparing brands, talking about fit. We all had different answers, we all had different body shapes, but we were all weirdly passionate about it.
It wasn’t until I saw this guy walk by with this absolutely perfect white tee – crisp, clean, hitting his shoulders just right – that I realized what we were really talking about. A blank white tee isn’t blank at all. It’s making a statement whether you want it to or not.
And when you see someone wearing the wrong one? You immediately never want to be in that position.
The Intel From the Streets: What Your White Tee Actually Says
The CVS 5-Pack Situation (Hanes, Fruit of the Loom)
Message: “I shop for clothes like I shop for batteries” If you’re buying your tees at CVS in a 5-pack, you’re probably also wondering why you’re not getting any matches on Hinge. Thin, see-through, loses shape after one wash. This is the white tee equivalent of giving up.
The Costco Kirkland Special
Message: “I’m practical but completely clueless” Slightly better than CVS, but still screaming “I buy everything in bulk.” The fit is boxy in all the wrong ways, and you look like you’re wearing your dad’s undershirt to brunch.
The Target Goodfellow & Co.
Message: “I’m trying but I’m lost” Credit for attempting to care, but this is fast fashion masquerading as basics. The cotton feels cheap, the fit is inconsistent, and after three washes it looks like you’ve owned it for three years.
The Uniqlo Airism
Message: “I actually get it” This is the sweet spot. Effortless drape, boxy in that Balenciaga oversized way, not boxy in that “this was my brother’s shirt” way. At $12.90, it’s doing what $200 designer basics are trying to do.
The J.Crew Broken-In Tee
Message: “I read GQ and think I’m sophisticated” Decent quality, but you’re paying $30 for marketing. The “broken-in” thing is trying too hard to be vintage. Just buy actual vintage or go with something that doesn’t need a backstory.
The Everlane Organic Cotton
Message: “I care about the environment and my Instagram aesthetic” Solid choice, actually. The organic cotton feels premium, the fit is clean, and you can feel good about not destroying the planet. This is what conscious consumption looks like when it’s done right.
The COS Minimalist Approach
Message: “I understand European design sensibilities” Clean lines, perfect weight cotton, and that effortless Scandinavian vibe. This is what you wear when you want people to ask where you shop but don’t want to seem like you’re trying.
The Sunspel Superfine Cotton
Message: “I know what quality actually means” This is serious business. The cotton weight is perfect, the construction is flawless, and it gets better with age. At $75, it’s not cheap, but it’s the kind of piece that makes everything else look more expensive.
The James Perse Relaxed Crew
Message: “I live in LA or wish I did” Soft, drapey, and effortlessly cool. This is the white tee for people who want to look like they just rolled out of bed in Malibu (in the best way possible).
The Lady White Co. Athens
Message: “I know about the good stuff before it goes mainstream” Made in LA, perfect proportions, and the kind of quality that gets better with washing. This is what happens when you actually understand garment construction.
The Supreme/Stussy/Palace Basic
Message: “I’m 19 or desperately trying to be” Look, the quality is actually decent, but you’re paying $60 for a logo that screams “I wait in line for drops.” Save the hype pieces for when they actually matter.
The Fear of God Essentials
Message: “I follow Jerry Lorenzo on Instagram” Oversized, neutral tones, and that California minimalism vibe. Not terrible, but you’re paying for the aesthetic more than the quality. The fit works if you understand the assignment.
The Brunello Cucinelli Situation
Message: “I have a trust fund and questionable priorities” $400 for a white tee means your dad’s accountant is crying. It’s not making you look better – it’s just making you look like you don’t understand money.
The Comme des Garçons Play
Message: “I think I’m avant-garde but I’m actually basic” That little heart logo isn’t fooling anyone. You’re paying $100 for a white tee with a cartoon heart because you want people to know you shop at Dover Street Market.
The Vintage Band Tee Worn as Basics
Message: “I’m cooler than you but also confused” That faded Nirvana tee from 1994 is fire, but wearing it as your go-to white tee is missing the point. Save the vintage for when it matters.
The Lululemon Metal Vent Tech
Message: “I think athleisure is a personality” Technical fabric, moisture-wicking, and completely missing the point. This is what you wear to the gym, not to dinner. Stop trying to make athletic wear happen in social settings.
The Pieces That Actually Work
After watching the streets and testing everything myself, here’s what’s worth your money:
Uniqlo Airism Cotton Oversized Crew Neck T-Shirt
This is the move. The cotton blend keeps it from getting that weird synthetic feel, and the oversized cut works whether you’re 5’8″ or 6’2″. I’ve seen finance bros wearing these (probably by accident) and actually looking decent for once. At $12.90, it’s the best value play in the game.
Everlane Organic Cotton Long-Sleeve Tee
When you need something a step up from Uniqlo but don’t want to mortgage your apartment. The organic cotton feels premium, and the fit is clean without being tight. Perfect for when you’re trying to look like you have your life together.
COS Relaxed Cotton T-shirt
European cut, minimalist design, and that perfect weight cotton that gets better with age. This is what you wear when you want people to ask where you shop but don’t want to seem like you’re trying too hard.
Sunspel Superfine Cotton Tee
This is what good looks like. The cotton weight is perfect – substantial enough to hold its shape, soft enough to feel premium. The cut works whether you’re layering or wearing solo. At $75, it’s not cheap, but it’s the kind of piece that makes everything else in your wardrobe look better.
Lady White Co. Athens Tee
Made in LA, perfect proportions, and the kind of quality that gets better with age. This is the white tee that finance bros wish they knew about. The fit is clean without being tight, and the cotton actually improves after washing.